Tuesday, January 29, 2013

the truth hurts sometimes.

sometimes I find a really good read.
and today I did.
took a 5 min break while I was eating my lunch... and BAM!

this article:

a conversation I have had so many times with my friends, family, coworkers, etc.

def worth reading.

You're Not Making the Most out of Your 20's by Ryan O'Connell

It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.

A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.

Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.

You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.

Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.

I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.

You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.

Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?

We shall see.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


(warning: longest post of all time)
so yesterday...
the weather was so awesome and I had energy (or had just had a coffee) and I  decided to run by HEB to get some snacks for PLT before work
...and that is the moment my day started...
this old Santa looking man was in front of me in line @ HEB.
I wanted to make fun of his super tight shorts pulled up to his belly button & his red suspenders... but to each their own.
but then he decided to go have a 10 min discussion about the
tartar sauce
being expired.
that grosses me out in more than one way.
I wanted to be irritated, but I realized I had 15 items in a 10 item or less line.
and that is rude!
so I just let the man figure out his tartar sauce situation and I hurried up and left.
I was running late and so I sped to work with the windows down & the music up and I was so happy for that 2 min.
then I pulled right into work & Mr. officer pulled in RIGHT behind me...
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I was opening my door and had my keys in my hand and was ready to open up @ PLT.
he was acting like this was such a serious offense. he blocked up the driveway, had his lighs on, & his door wide open.
Mr. officer: "Hey, I pulled you over bc you were speeding... I need to see your license and copy of your insurance"
me: "here you go sir"...(except I don't have an insurance card on me for some reason. oh yeah and my registration is EXPIRED. I already knew how this was going to end, so I just decide to make the most of it.)
me: "Hey, I own this store. Do you think you could pull in and turn off your lights so it doesn't look like something bad is happening here"
Mr. officer: (blank stare) "okay, but stay in the car"
he moved his car, but was still dramatically blocking me in, which is probably policy.
he ends up taking a while to do whatever on his little computer, by this time it is 11am and my store should be OPEN.
me: "hey can I go unlock?"
Mr. officer "uh. sure. but come right back out!"
okay yeah, bc I am going to escape...
me: "okay thanks!"
and then I unload the groceries, and all the boxes of clothes and stuff I had just gotten in... almost asked for his help. but I decided that might be pushing it.
a few minutes later he was sweet enough to present me with
goodness. I am so dumb.
Mr. officer: "here ya go, I have you for speeding, no proof of insurance, and expired registration. be careful out there and get that taken care of"
me: "I will. ... I would say thanks, but that's unnecessary. Hope your morning is better than mine"
Mr. officer: "hey, you aren't the first and you won't be the last"
you are probably wondering what in the heck got into me to just be so nonchalant and sarcastic toward Mr. officer... and I really don't know either. I think I just knew my fate & decided to just go with it. I was polite, but I think he was weirded out that I didn't cry and freak out. stupid girls.
but I'm not going to lie... as soon as he pulled off I had a 5 sec moment of like
"ohhhhh no, poor little Nikole"
but I got over that when I realized I was speeding & it isn't the end of the world.
slightly embarrassing though.
ALL my neighbors saw.
such the proffessional.
by the way, remember last Tuesday?????
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but you better believe I was goin the speed limit this morning heading to work!!!
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moral of the story:
-don't speed.
-take care of your stuff.
-don't make fun of the tartar sauce guy, we all have our issues.
-karma will come for you if you take more items than are permitted in the fast check out line.
-don't be a girl & cry when cops pull you over-don't be defeated.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

here lately.

I am thinking about only posting pictures in my blogs now.

I am way too lazy to type words and explain to you my crazy life!

so figure it out:

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alright, I am sure you got it:
1. I sat @ home Friday night and ate pizza by myself and loved every second of it!
2. I got free dessert on Sunday... and a free meal.
 ( I might have seen a roach, but who cares, it wasn't in the cheesecake!)
3. Texans lose but we had a good time & my mom is hilarious.
4. I got a flat yesterday : [
and am now rocking mismatched wheels, sweet!

Friday, January 11, 2013


dear blog readers,
you should read this ASAP (the most amazing proposal story in all the world!)

I cried. a deep, deep happy cry.
(yes, for complete strangers)
 ah! so special!
and props to that guy for thinking of every.single.little. detail!
and for including all her favorite people, but not making it a "show".
some people just got it. and that he does.
dear coffee,
I refuse to become addicted to you.
better than being an alcoholic, I guess, but I still hate dependency.

I can't decide if I really like you or I just look forward to using my Keurig
but it has been a couple days without you & I am fine!


ps. I don't still have my tree up, this pic is a couple weeks old.
 dear holly,
are we really going wedding dress shopping for YOU tomorrow?! omg. I feel like this is something we talked about in middle school & now it is here! can't wait!
dear birthday party,
I still need to blog about youuuuuu!

dear weather,
you have been perfect, but I hear next week is going to suck again : [
dear football,
you are getting so intense & I know you are coming to an end...
hope all the games turn out how I want!!
hope everyone has a great weekend!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


as many of you know, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding in December.
I never posted about it, but I loved it.
I am a party planner at heart, so to be a part of someone's special day and all the behind the scenes stuff is SO awesome!

of course it was a whole weekend of fun & getting ready:

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nails done, Starbucks runs, lunch dates, "bride" shirts, rehearsal bouquet, rehearsal dinner, & goofy pictures- we all had a good time!
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(we were sort of obsessed with the Bridesmaids pose the whole weekend)

 and then... it was the BIG DAY!!

obviously I couldn't get any pictures during the ceremony, but it was perfect!
( and none of us passed out or tripped!)
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yeah... Bridesmaid pose, AGAIN.
(nailed it though)
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and before we knew it, it was over.
It flew by and NOTHING went wrong.
seriously the most smooth event I have ever been to!
Congrats Joshua & Brittni,
Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day.
I love you both so very much & wish nothing but the best for you!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I'm back!

[I was going to take a leave of absence from blogger.
but why? I don't want to, so I am not going to!] lucky YOU!

I have so very much to catch up on, but today does not feel like the right day to pull out the old stuff, but it is all coming!
Feeling a tad motivational today, I can't help it,
it is contagious!
especially happy about my mom having a successful surgery of getting cysts removed. I know she is not having a particularly good time, but to hear it is noncancerous is the best thing ever!!!!
 some motivational words of wisdom:
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okay cliche New Year's post is over!