raw.

so it is one of those weird weeks.

it always is a little bit weird when the holidays are over. we build it up so much and then within days it is over.  

it is even more strange this year.

I am at a place in life that I never saw myself in.

this isn't bad though, I have grown and changed in so many ways.

and for that I can only be thankful.

but it is a reflective week for me more than ever.

Christmas has come and gone and here I am,

the eve of my 25th birthday and days away from the start of 2014.

on one hand I feel super reflective. 

what have I done in my 25 years, who have I touched, what mistakes have I made, did I forgive myself and others, what have I learned/accomplished?

and on the other hand it is all the ideas of what is to come in the next year and the next 25 years.

what kind of  person will I be in a relationship with, what will my kids be like, what career will I have, what kinds of people will come in and out of my life and change it, who will I impact, and what will I learn/accomplish? 

but the truth is we focus way too much on the past and the future.

this year has been LIFE CHANGING. and I could sit and relive failed relationships, things I didn't do, great moments, travels, friendships and experiences. 

I could sit and build up anxiety about what is next and where I am supposed to be.

OR.

I could just stop. live. and be in the present. bc I have realized in talking with so many different people in all walks of life that we will always reflect on our past and we will always be a little nervous about the future.  I understand I cannot make that stop, but I will choose to try and just live day by day and be vulnerable. 

So Happy Birthday Eve to me

&

Happy New Years to YOU!