Thursday, February 20, 2014


I was getting on the plane yesterday to fly home,
solo this time.

so I did what any lonely person would do,
grabbed something to read & had a conversation with myself. 

seriously... these were the things I grabbed out of my bag to read on the airplane.
could they not be anymore opposite?

and it got me thinking...

who am i? 

I read a spiritual book, but can't wait to read my cosmo.

I listen to rap music on the way to church.

I go out to eat/drink after I go to the gym.

I stay away from drama and love all of my friends, but watch every episode of real housewives.

I own a clothing boutique, but wore a Target dress to market.

I have a college degree, but still struggle to spell restaurant correctly.

I closed the bar down, but was at the early service at church the next morning.

I am saving money for a car, but bought myself a MK purse.

how do you define this person?
and would I judge this person?

and as different as these things are...
I am both.

I really wanted to read BOTH of those.
I really did ALL of those things, all while feeling true to myself,
yet when I think them out, they contradict.

or do they?


I got to reading 
What We Talk About When We Talk About God

and what do you know, Rob Bell feels me on this:


"we are both large and small,
strong and weak,
formidable and faint...

we get stuck in traffic on day and find ourselves cursing
within seconds, while another time we sit with a friend who's dying
of cancer and are filled with an ocean of compassion.

the slightest barbed word from a coworker can cause our blood to boil,
and yet as a friend comes down the aisle at her wedding our heart feels like it's
a thousand miles wide...

we're an exotic blend of
and pathetic,

we hear about people climbing Mount Everest blind,
and we hear about serial killers opening fire in a crowded
and we're still surprised..."


needless to say,

I was tired...
and I finished that whole dang book.

and today,

today I will read my Cosmopolitan Magazine. 

judge me.

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